For the purposes of this book, I’m defining “emotional intelligence” as everything that comes under the heading of relationships, community and contribution.
That includes your relationship with yourself (being at peace, contented and satisfied) and your relationships with others. In fact, a really good definition of emotional intelligence is the ability to deal with people effectively from a place of integrity and self-awareness.
We can trace the roots of the concept of emotional intelligence to Darwin, who discovered that there was actually an evolutionary purpose in being responsive to others. Think about it: you need to be able to read cues from other people in order to survive.
Your cavemen ancestors needed to be able to know quickly whether a tribesman was friendly or dangerous. He needed to make a really quick assessment about that wildebeest staring him down on the African Serengeti. (Does it want to be petted? Or is it thinking I’m lunch?)
Being able to relate to and empathize with live beings around you clearly increased your chances for survival.
This kind of intelligence isn’t the kind that allows you to become an International Chess Master or a top brain surgeon, but it’s an intelligence that’s necessary and vital for living well and living long.
The long-lived societies I talk about in “The Most Effective Ways to Live Longer” may have never heard of this peculiarly academic and Western concept of “emotional intelligence”. But they practice it every day. They don’t have a word for it, or books about it, or even a definition of it. But it’s part of their lives- like exercise, healthy food and sleep—and it’s there for us to observe, emulate and adapt to our own circumstances.
